TPS - Titanium Tactical Popsicle Stick
You’ve EDC’d knives, pens, pry bars, and a coin that does nothing. But a popsicle stick? Exactly. Meet TPS: the titanium stick you never considered carrying—and now absolutely need—with 9,999+ ridiculous uses (and counting).
Why it slaps (without melting):
• Grade-5 titanium = won’t swell, splinter, or get soggy.
• Featherlight, pocket-sized, and gloriously overbuilt for a job nobody asked for.
• Non-magnetic, corrosion-proof, dishwasher/camp-sink safe.
• Flat faces for laser engraving/anodizing a random joke and flavor color.
• Ergonomic “drip” profile doubles as fidget fuel.
Some of the 9,999+ uses you NEED:
• Stir coffee like a tactical barista
• Emergency peanut-butter spreader / field Nutella applicator
• Sticker squeegee / decal burnisher
• Epoxy mixer that doesn’t die after one project
• Package opener / tape slicer (gentle prys, heroic vibes)
• Keyboard crumb corraller
• Phone SIM tray poker (the classy way)
• Plant label for your battle-bonsai
• Paint can edge wiper / glue spatula
• Ice-scraper for keyholes & windshield corners
• Mini pry for battery doors & stubborn tabs
• Dice straightedge / impromptu ruler (ish)
• Wobble-table shim at suspect coffee shops
• Fire steel striker (yep, it’s Ti)
• Ramen stirrer, margarita muddler, guac lifter
• Zipper pull fixer, shoelace threader, cord wrap
• Photo stand wedge, tripod foot saver
• Fidget “calm stick” during awkward small talk
• Victory wand when your build finally compiles
Specs
Pocket-friendly. Titanium. Overkill. That’s the point.
FAQ
Does it come with a popsicle? No. But it makes every moment feel like the good part.
Isn’t this ridiculous? Absolutely—and that’s why you’ll use it constantly.
TPS—because you didn’t think you needed a titanium popsicle stick… until you did.
****Each Stick comes in a Blind bag. Each bag contains one unique laser engraved stick with a unique joke and Number. sticks have a random color anodizing with random drip pattern. Variants have a chance to be. Crystal Titanium or multicolor finish or BOTH!****
